As a future Abarth owner, there are two key pieces of wisdom you should take to heart. First, if you plan on sneaking home at 2 a.m. after a night of hood rat adventures, parking three blocks away might just save you from unwanted attention. And second, if you drive like a teenager who just got their license—trust me, we’ve all been there—the local gas station may soon become your second home.

Now, let’s talk about that hefty $33,315 price tag on the 500c Abarth. You get a performance chassis with anti-roll bars, stiffened dampers, eye-catching red brake calipers, and fat sticky summer tires wrapped around $1,400 17-inch Bronze Forged wheels. All of these features are impressive, but they come at a cost. Unfortunately, this nearly $33,000 two-door cabriolet also shares some traits with its $17,000 counterparts. For starters, the interior boasts some rather cheap plastics, and you won’t find the luxury of navigation or a backup camera in the new 7-inch touchscreen infotainment system. Plus, the steering wheel doesn’t telescope, which is a bit of a letdown. And as you admire its chunky exterior, you might notice the “stick-on” sporty side skirts starting to pop off—because who doesn’t love a little DIY car maintenance?

Whether it wants to or not, the 500c Abarth offers an optional Aisin six-speed automatic transmission, which will set you back an extra $1,350—despite most enthusiasts preferring the classic five-speed manual. Now, while we’d still love to have that third pedal for a bit more control, the automatic isn’t as dreadful as it sounds. It’s been slightly tuned to produce 157 horsepower compared to the manual’s 160, yet somehow it still rockets to 60 mph in under seven seconds, and it does so with a flair that could rival a Broadway show.

When the revs hit 5,000 rpm, the exhaust bursts forth with a glorious symphony of snap, crackle, and pop. It’s enough to startle unsuspecting pedestrians—some of whom might even flip you the bird—unbeknownst to them that this only fuels our enthusiasm. With sport mode engaged, we find ourselves reveling in every engine revolution and enjoying the sharper transmission response when we leave it in ‘D.’ However, when the urge strikes to take control, the manual mode offers a satisfying alternative. A particularly nice feature is the rev-matching downshifts, which not only prepares you for the next gear before entering a corner but also produces an ear-pleasing bark with each downshift.

With its stocky wheelbase, the 500c Abarth feels like a rabbit being pursued by that angry Pitbull, able to change direction on a dime. The chassis holds up its end of the bargain with stiffer support beams and more aggressive dampers in the suspension. And while the lack of a roof means there’s not much structural support overhead, Fiat’s clever engineering ensures that the ride remains impressively stable and responsive.

The Abarth’s firmer suspension does make daily driving a bit less cushy. It’s not unbearable, but let’s just say you might want to keep that hot latte secure in the cup holder until you reach your destination—wherever that may be, likely a gas station. You’d expect a small car to be efficient, but we found ourselves so enamored with its animalistic spirit that our foot often found itself firmly planted on the floor. The result? A less-than-stellar average fuel consumption of 18 mpg, compared to the EPA’s rated 27—ouch! This translates to a range of about 250 miles, meaning more frequent stops for that precious premium liquid gold.

Inside the cabin, however, things feel surprisingly cozy for a small car. The sport seats, while manually adjustable, provide ample comfort and lateral support, making even longer drives to the office enjoyable. The thick, leather-wrapped, flat-bottom steering wheel feels great in your hands, giving you that sporty touch. Just be warned: your mother-in-law is likely to adore the back seat—let’s just hope you never have to take her on a Costco run!

The reality is, there are plenty of superior cars on the market that are cheaper, more practical, and even quicker—think the Ford Fiesta ST, Mini Cooper S Hardtop, or VW Golf GTI. However, none of these options can match the theatrical flair and sheer entertainment value of the 500c Abarth. In just a few seconds, you can drop the top, bask in the open sky, and let that exhaust note rip—an experience that might just leave you with a smile (and possibly a hole in your underwear). Good luck getting that kind of thrill from a Golf!